COMMERCIAL FOR A SITCOM

The camera loves her legs, her face, her hair, her breasts, her smile and everything else she's got.

That’s her, the brunette sitting on the couch on the set of a new husband-and-wife sitcom called Angie & Sam. Her smile is huge. Her eyes are sparkling oceans. Her short skirt shows all of her long showgirl legs while her famously large chest pushes out against a tight blue sweater that’s cut to show a wisp of cleavage.

Meet Angie.

"Hi!," Angie says, perky as can be, to the camera as the commercial starts, "I really want to tell you about my new show, but my husband is supposed to be here to do it with me and he’s late". She looks to the side as if addressing the camera crew. "Anyone seen him?"

"I’m here, I’m here," says a male voice off-camera.

A dumpy guy in jeans and a T-shirt and with a little extra weight on his gut bumbles onto the set. He pats down an unnatural-looking head of dark brown hair as he sits next to Angie and smiles at the camera.

Meet Sam.

"Uh," she says. "What is that thing on your head?"

"What are you talking about?" Sam acts confused by her question.

"The wig. You’re wearing a wig."

"No, I’m not. This is what I look like," he says, a nervous glare on his face. "Anyway, I want to tell everyone about our new show! It’s on Tuesdays at—"

"Wait," Angie interrupts him. "You’re not wearing that for our show. You’re bald. The audience needs to know that you’re bald." She looks directly into the camera, points to Sam and silently mouths the words "He’s bald.”

"I don’t know what you’re talking about," he says to her. Then he looks into the camera and continues. "Sorry everyone, she's a little crazy. Anyway, we have a great new show Tuesdays at—".

Angie reaches up and tries to snatch the wig off Sam’s head. He leans away from her and deflects the grab.

"Ah, ah, ah," he says.

She tries again. He leans away again.

"Stop!" he says. "We have to finish the commercial! We don’t have a lot of time."

"All right," she says, rolling her eyes.

Sam gives it one more try. Great new show. Tuesdays at—

And then Angie quickly punches him in the balls. Crunch! He never saw it coming.

Sam’s eyes bug out comically and instead of saying what time the show starts on Tuesdays, he lets out a fluttering whine that sounds like “huuu-uuuuh-uuuh”.

His hands move to cover his crotch and Angie pulls off Sam’s wig with ease revealing his horseshoe-patterned bald head to the world. She tosses the wig off-camera.

"Okay, that’s better," she says while Sam sits stiff as a statue in a world of pain, eyes wide open in shock.

"So," she continues, beaming at the camera, "We have a very funny show Tuesdays at 8 o’clock." She looks at Sam. "Do you want to tell them what date it starts?"

Sam makes a noise similar to a mouse squeak.

"We start on October 7," Angie says for him. "You should check it out. You’ll have a ball. Or two". She elbows Sam lightly in the ribs, a huge smile on her face. He’s too wrapped up in his pain to respond. "We think you’ll go nuts for us!"

Angie reaches up and pats Sam's bald head.

"Don't worry about him," she says to the camera. "He'll be better by Tuesday."

Fade out.